My kids are starting to notice I’m a little different from the other dads. “Why don’t you have a straight job like everyone else?” they asked me the other day.
I told them this story:
In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, “Look at me…I’m tall, and I’m straight, and I’m handsome. Look at you…you’re all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you.” And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, “Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest.” So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.
LOOK. As much as I know things like EDITING and CONFIRMATION BIAS and THE REALITY OF NUMBERS factor in here, it is never not gonna mess me up that the “boys finding out they’ve made it through the first round of cuts” bootcamp sequence is effectively a “future members of One Direction finding out they’ve made it through the first round of cuts” sequence, that Niall gets swarmed by the people near him in the lineup but then makes his way over to where Liam is, that Harry and Zayn are next to each other, that while Niall is being swarmed with hugs AGAIN Louis gives him a quick pat like he’s not even thinking about it because Niall’s happiness literally has its own gravitational pull, that while four different people have a hold on Niall he’s actually reaching out for Liam, that Zayn looks like he’s gonna keel over and the first thing Harry does is grab him by the shoulders, that while Niall is dazedly hamming it up for the camera, Harry and Liam are both in the shot being hugged. THERE ARE TWENTY-SIX PEOPLE ON THAT STAGE, BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW IT.
MOST ACCURATE POST IS MOST ACCURATE
This fits Hawkeye so well…
I laughed at this so much harder than I should have.
The second worst burn that Two Face has ever felt.
the comment perfected this post
dating an identical twin scares me bc what if i get them confused
i read a book once where this girl was romantically involved with this guy who had a twin and they would punk her all the time and be like which one is your boyfriend you have to kiss the right one and then it turned out one of them was evil and trapped her in a dungeon with a bunch of rats or some shit
but that’s like, worst case scenario
Drax the Destroyer and Rocket Raccoon
*extreme high pitched noise*
welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed